


iKON Ships Drabbles

by Hanbinwifey



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cheesy, Drabbles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Would add the tag later, maybe smut later, post concert, vampire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2019-11-14 19:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18058850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanbinwifey/pseuds/Hanbinwifey
Summary: All iKON's ships drabbles under 3k I've written for over a year





	1. Double B - Constant Battle

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at writing and always end up making short stories instead of continuing my fics but hey, enjoy

 

“You should quit doing that.” Hanbin’s voice broke the silence enveloped the room. Bobby turned his head upon the comment, furrowed his brow.

 

“Why?” He bemusedly asked, looping a lazy smile while walking toward the handsome guy sitting on the couch.

 

“It doesn’t feel right. You’ve been hunting a lot, people would notice.” Hanbin sighed, lost count on how many times he had brought this matter to the surface.

 

“Hey,” Bobby placed his hands on Hanbin’s shoulders from behind. “They offered themselves, I’m not entirely at fault.” He lowered his head and spoke to Hanbin’s ears, sending an unwanted shiver to his spine.

 

“Yeah, but you seduced them first.” He tried to sound calm. The vampire behind him chuckled deeply, his laugh ticked Hanbin off.

 

“Sorry babe, guess it’s my nature.”

 

The human held his building up anger and exasperatedly huffed. Bobby didn’t even deny it. Hanbin knew very well it was stupid to get riled over this, to be jealous of a vampire going around sucking people’s blood, moreover tried to rationalize with them. Still, he couldn’t get over this ugly feeling inside, growing tired to Bobby’s excuse. Wouldn’t it be easy for Bobby to get blood right from the blood bank since he practically worked there?

 

“Sure, I bet it’s your nature to kiss with them too before sucking these woman dry,” He gritted his teeth, containing his jealousy to appear nonchalant, which was unnecessary because Bobby could see it anyway.

 

“Babe..” Bobby’s voice softening, body swiftly moving to sit beside him. “That kiss was one time, okay? She caught me off guard. I never kiss anyone else intentionally as I do with you,” His cold hand touched Hanbin’s forehead, and as much as Hanbin hated to admit, it lessening the pent up emotion a bit.

 

“That’s why I asked you, can you stop? I didn’t want to see it again. You had every resource you need, but you keep on hunting these women.” There was venom in his sentence, biting and aggressive though he put an effort into keeping it low. “What if your hypnosis doesn’t work like what happened with me? What if these women would secretly tell the government about that?”

 

Bobby looked at Hanbin while caressing his hair. He knew it was pure bullshit, the government talk and all. Hanbin was just jealous. Bobby didn’t quite grasp what the human exactly felt, flunked to fathom why they got worked up upon trivial things like hunting food. Woman’s blood tastes sweeter and that was solely the reason why Bobby couldn’t stop looking for it. Though he had toned down the numbers since he ridiculously fell in love (an emotion he didn’t understand why it could happen to him as an emotionless being) with Hanbin, he was yet to fully quit.

 

“Babe, we’ve talked about this. Their blood replenishes my energy twice faster than any other type of blood. And I didn’t kill them unlike how I used to be.” Bobby grabbed Hanbin’s hands, enjoying the warmth skin collided with his cold ones. He had changed since he met Hanbin, from a merciless killer to a decent, probably close to a normal human with a norm. “And I know my hypnosis works, okay? You’re an exception.”

 

Hanbin bit the inside of his cheek. “May as well you date a woman too so you can suck her blood every damn time. Must be suck dating me since you couldn’t suck mine,” Hanbin had enough of this. Bobby told him vampires were prohibited to suck the blood of human with the same sex. Hanbin didn’t questioning much about it, being grateful he was safe and no male vampires would ever come to his neck. But his insecurities kicked him on the stomach again, whispering that it was perhaps an excuse, something Bobby used to play with another woman.

 

What did Bobby even see from him? He used to be a nerd, normal college boy that happened to discover the truth of Bobby’s kind when the vampire carelessly making out and sank his teeth on the neck of the female librarian. His curiosity was the one led him to his position now, somehow he ended up with the immortal creature after Bobby failed to manipulate his memory a couple of times. Still, there was be no benefit Bobby would gain from this relationship and it had been bugging Hanbin’s mind whenever he saw his man having fun before savoring a woman.

 

“Hanbin.” Bobby firmly said, and the human stiffened almost immediately. “I told you, it was all for survival. Unlike children or animal’s blood, I didn’t need that much of amount when I drank woman’s blood. And I have to stop stealing the blood stock in my place too, they’ve installed a lot of camera and shit these days.”

 

“And there was no other place safer to suck their blood but in my house.”

 

Hanbin understood. In fact, he had been listening to the same sentence over and over again. But he also couldn’t stop his heart from getting wrenched and beaten whenever he caught Bobby brought someone home, hand on her waist and mouth whispering things to her ears.

 

And he hated it. He hated it all. Hanbin even wished he would turn into a woman so he could have Bobby to himself, offering his blood as a daily meal.

 

Hanbin tore his eyes away from Bobby, pulled away from his touch. “I’ll go back to my house so I wouldn’t see that then. It’s suffocating.” He didn’t mean it to sound like a threat, but it came out as one.

 

Bobby abruptly gripped his wrist. “You know it dangerous! You’ve associated with me and you’re no longer safe. Step out from my house and all these vampires would jump on you.”

 

Hanbin curled a smile, but it was far from a happy smile. “Maybe it’s better to get killed by them rather than stuck in here.” He paused, watching Bobby’s expression shifted. “I gave up my safety to be with you. I know vampires are damn heartless but all I wish is your head would consider my feelings. In my realm, what you do is count as cheating. And for your information, I despise it so much.”

 

Bobby didn’t know why a pang sent to him heart upon hearing it. Another emotion he was failed to process. His hand reached for the other male. “Hanbin..”

 

“Don’t touch me!” He hissed and Bobby stopped moving his arm.

 

“I’ve followed what you said. I didn’t get out without you from this house since we started to date. I didn’t associate myself with any suspicious guy you’ve warned me about. I’ve stopped working, I distanced myself from my friends. I did it all for you. What did I get in return? You came back home with all these sluts and making out with them in front of my eyes. It’s been weeks, Jiwon. Human had patience, unlike your kind.”

 

“Are you seriously trying to start the blame game again? I’ve warned you before we got into the relationship. I told you all about me, about how perilous this situation you stepped into, yet you stayed. I didn’t hide anything, I never lied, and you are the one accepted me.” Bobby bit back, voice raising in disbelief and anger.

 

Hanbin’s eyes widened in shock. Bobby looked mad and Hanbin felt like he just got slapped on the face. He didn’t even realize when the tears barged out his eyes and streaming down his cheeks. Bobby turned to panic in the sight.

 

“ _Fuck_! Hanbin, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.” Bobby pulled him to a hug but Hanbin resisted. He didn’t want to get comforted, he wanted an explanation, a discussion, with an actual decision at the end. He was tired of getting comforted, burying his feelings only for it to surfacing on the other day.

 

“Hanbin, please..” Bobby pledged but Hanbin strongly refused his touch.

 

“You used affection to shut down my thoughts. Like an idiot I always let it win over me. But I really, _really_ had enough, Jiwon.”

 

“Try to understand me too.” Bobby sighed, forehead formed a crease. “I swear I did it for survive. I really dislike touching anyone else beside you. If there’s an easier way to get blood I would fucking do it, but there’s currently none. Animal blood is easy to get but I need an enormous amount to satisfy my daily need. I think I’ve told you all of this before?” Bobby halted, his red eyes staring right through Hanbin, seemed to be wore out.

 

“Can you see I’ve stopped going to club and mass murder everyone? Ever since I vowed myself to you, I’ve shifted to a better person, though I’m not really a person to begin with.” His voice low in the last sentence. “I’m sorry I make you feel like shit, fuck me for taking your feelings lightly.” Hanbin could sense the tension among them slowly settling down, but Bobby was yet to address what he hoped him to say.

 

“I’ll figure out a way, okay? I’ll stop bringing them home if that’s what you want.”

 

Was Hanbin being too selfish here? Bobby sounded sincere, and it saddened him to realize Bobby probably had done every existed ways to fulfill his need without hurting Hanbin.

 

“That’s not really it.” Hanbin sobbed, feeling pathetic. He was not the only one sacrificing things. Bobby gave up to marry another vampire to be with him. He got outcasted from his family and chose to be with Hanbin despite the uncertainty the future set for them. The luxury Bobby used to had before he met Hanbin gone in an instant when his parent found out their son fell for a human. Their financial situation was not great these days, especially when Hanbin quit working after a vampire almost killed him in the workplace.

 

“I just don’t like the idea of you touching others. It’s not about them, it’s about me. Me and my insecure ass. I kept thinking about things you whispered to them. What if one of them would replace me? What if they make you fall in love? What if-“ Hanbin sniffed, crying as he was unable to continue. Bobby wasn’t sure what he supposed to do, but he scooted closer, hugging Hanbin.

 

“I didn’t like their faces. They’re pretty, sexy.." Hanbin drew a sharp breath reckoning the latest woman stepped inside their house. Fair skin with velvet black hair that, collarbone exposed and curved body. Hanbin felt like trash compared to the dainty look she pulled that day. "...they're more than capable to take you away from me. I hate it..” Bobby didn’t say anything, let his man pouring his heart out even if the tip of his tongue wanting to snap. 

 

“I’m sorry, babe, didn’t know they made you feel that way.” Bobby tightened his embrace, sense of guilt creeping inside him. He forgot how vulnerable Hanbin could be sometimes. Hanbin was impeccable, the best kind of human he never imagined would spend his life with. While Bobby was busy fooling around and hunting people in the college for fun, Hanbin was thriving to get scholarships, elected as the president of Student Association, all while working in three different places to feed himself. And it was Bobby who fucked his life up after their encounter.

 

When his family estranged him, Hanbin was the one helping him to get a job in the blood bank center. Hanbin was the one helping him to change, to a perhaps better person while putting his shoe in danger. It was common in the vampire’s realm that human who had a relationship with their kind would get hunted, kidnapped, or worse, _killed_ , hence they never really safe. And even after knowing all these possibilities, Hanbin didn’t leave him.

 

Hanbin was perfect before he met Bobby. And now the vampire had turned him into a vulnerable, insecure human, that constantly anxious about the only thing he was holding on; Bobby’s love. Bobby felt horrible.

 

“You’re prettier than any of them. Their beauty is not even close to you. " Bobby meant every word spoken. Hanbin was the prettiest human he ever laid his eyes on. Regal look fitted his charming personality, brown hair and dark Irish Bobby would never grow tired to stare every night, smiles that melting away all of the built-up worries, everything about Hanbin was thousand times better than any woman Bobby brought home. "... I’m sorry, Hanbin. I’ll stop touching them and all. That’s what you want, babe? “ Bobby slightly pulled away, seeking for Hanbin’s agreement.

 

The other male’s mind tangled with thoughts. Bobby wouldn’t make a promise he didn’t mean to. But it wasn’t really put him at ease. He blamed his human side to be overthinking everything.

 

Seeing he got silence as a response, Bobby wiped his tears. “Unlike the human, we didn’t have many emotions, we didn’t get jealous. We might be lacking in showing affection. But …” Bobby stopped to talk, leaning toward Hanbin until his face was an inch away “...unlike the human, we only fall for one person for the rest of our life.” He finished his words with a kiss. And once again Hanbin’s doubts dissipated. He closed his eyes in contact, feeling Bobby’s cold lips on his own.

 

“I promise I would stop touching them. I’ll go straight sucking them.” Bobby said as he reluctantly pulled away, curling a wolfish smile Hanbin wanted to punch.

 

“You should, asshole.” Hanbin laughed before sealing the gap between them, resuming the kiss he missed so bad these past few days.

 

“greedy little human, you want to monopolize my touch that bad?” Bobby grinned during their kiss, hand roaming from Hanbin’s cheek to his arms, down to his back. It was cringeworthy but Hanbin let it pass, playing along and flirting at the same level.

 

“Your touch is driving me crazy. How can I’m not wanting to monopolize it?” Hanbin nibbled on Bobby’s lower lip.

 

"You're a fucking tease." The inhuman lost his mind, tilted his head and kissing Hanbin deeper, tongue entered Hanbin's warm mouth.

 

A human and a vampire, their tale might not as romantic as the people imagining it would be. But they were happy. And that was pretty romantic how they won their constant battles.

 

Sure they had a lot of obstacles on their path after the world went against them. But they’d figure out a way to survive, together, inseparable.

  
  



	2. Dongbin - Way To Get You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin is stuck with the choreography again and here comes Donghyuk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a collaboration drabble with kimmy i miss her so much i'm sorry i posted this.  
> Warning : cheese filling this sappy fic

Hanbin’s face scrunched in annoyance, ticked off by something he couldn’t pinpoint. He couldn’t understand what was wrong but he felt mad He had been working in this choreography for hours but it just didn’t feel right. The frustration pent up and he let out a groan before sitting furiously in the corner of the dance practice room. He sighed exasperatedly, drowning in self-guilt, something he should have stopped doing -his member said.

 

But just when his mind tangled with frustration and black cloud, he heard a thud from behind- from the door, and his attention shattered.

 

"Are you okay?" Donghyuk asked, gently sitting down beside the leader. His warmth somehow gave Hanbin a sense of comfort.

 

Hanbin sighed, "If me being stuck on a choreo is okay, then I guess I am." He blurted as he plopped his head on the younger's shoulder.

 

Donghyuk chuckled, muttering a low coo as he gently caressed his hyung's cheek. Donghyuk could fathom his struggle, how much effort Hanbin put in this. He had witnessed the numerous amount of breakdown and silent tears Hanbin shed upon working hard. Donghyuk knew it well because he had been through the same phase.

 

They said nothing for a brief moment, let the silence enveloped the room, calming the nerves of the leader.

 

Hanbin’s eyes screwing shut upon the touch on his cheek, enjoying the serenity, the pad of finger circling on his skin, the fond affection given to him.

 

“I’m sorry..” His voice cracked.

"For what exactly?" Donghyuk asked gently, concern coaxed his words.

 

“For you know, everything. We're so close with the tour but I'm yet to finish this all... ” Hanbin’s voice laced with sadness, Donghyuk felt a pang sent to his heart.

 

“Would you like to tell me the details?”

Hanbin lifted his head and stared straight at Donghyuk's eyes. , "Just... you know, I can't do well in choreography now. I wasn't that good compared to when we were trainees-"

 

Donghyuk cut Hanbin's sentence, "Don't say that. You are still the best in my eyes." He whispered as he held the leader's fiddling hands.

 

"No. Just, I am so sorry for not working hard enough..."

 

Donghyuk was alarmed of another breakdown, "Hyung, you are working the hardest among us, what are you saying?" The younger said as he hugged Hanbin.

 

Hanbin was a strong leader, but there was a time when everything just plotting together to go against him, stepping on his confidence and shattering his belief. There was a lot of time where his knees went weak and the heavy burden he carried since they were trainees seemed to amplified, drowning him in anxiety, just like now.

 

So when Donghyuk’s hand looping around his body, ensuring him that he did a good job, that no one pressured him, that every expectation people set toward him was already achieved, and Hanbin even exceeded it, the leader couldn’t help but grimacing and let all of his worries escaped through the body contact.

 

Donghyuk stayed, throughout the moment, tightening his embrace, whispering to him it was okay, that Hanbin would work it out somehow, telling him he was here and Hanbin was never alone to carry the responsibilities.

 

It isn't a surprise that Donghyuk's voice can calm Hanbin's mental breakdown; with the younger's soft voice, proper choice of words, and honestly, being the person that Hanbin wanted to be with the most, he felt that the fragments of his broken life are slowly sitting on their proper places.

 

Donghyuk felt the smile that slowly crept under Hanbin's lips, "Are you okay now, hyung?" He asked still enveloping Hanbin in his tight embrace.  

 

"Yeah," Hanbin nodded, "but let me stay for a little while." He added as he snuggled to Donghyuk closer.

 

Silence.

 

Donghyuk's mind wandered to Hanbin's hardships since their trainee days, being the foundation of iKON. Donghyuk cradled the leader, "Hyung?"

 

"Hmmmm?"

 

Donghyuk gently rubbed the other's back, "You did so well." a gentle kiss on his shoulder, "I am so proud of you."

 

Hanbin’s face twinge with pink but he tried to not showing it. “Thank you.” There was an awkward silence before Hanbin nervously laughed.

 

“I’m sorry you had to see me like this.” He averted his eyes from Donghyuk, somehow embarrassed.

 

Donghyuk chuckled. “I should be one apologize for not always there for you.” Hanbin knew he didn’t sugarcoat his words, it was a pure, sincere apologize his heart tore upon hearing it.

 

“You’re always there for me, don’t say that.” Hanbin jabbed his shoulder teasingly, unused with all of this sappy, melancholic situation.

 

Donghyuk’s smile reached his eyes. His face brightened up. “So let me be there for you when you’re in hardships too. I’m not as good as you but I probably can help.” He tilted his head to his side and Hanbin needed to shift his eyes because that small action just took his breath away.

 

“Okay..”

 

"Okay, babe." Donghyuk teased trying to lessen the emotional wind hugging between them.

 

Hanbin's face painted with red, "Don't call me babe."

 

Donghyuk chuckled as he stood up offering his hands to Hanbin helping him to get up too. "Okay, honey," the younger continued to tease.

 

"You're annoying," Hanbin said as he decided to manhandle the song he was choreographing.

 

Donghyuk walked beside him, "but you love me, right?" Donghyuk answered, he may or may not be pertaining in a romantical way but he felt he needed to tell it out loud.

 

"I'll love you if you helped me with the choreography," Hanbin shrugged.

 

Donghyuk took over the computer and played the song, "Fine, which part are you on?"

 

The music started to play and Hanbin grimaced, "Yeah, I kinda... did everything already but... I don't feel the vibe of the choreo I did. It's been a week and I just want to smash everything."

 

Donghyuk laughed, a little wary, "I guess let's see it then first before I say something?"

 

Hanbin slowly walked in on the middle of the room, "I guess... here goes nothing."

 

Donghyuk furrowed his brow. “Did you mean it figuratively or literally?”

 

Hanbin’s tired eyes averted to the tiles below, hands on his hips. “Both.”

 

Donghyuk’s hand reached to him, cupped his chin. “Then let’s make it.” Hanbin hated how Donghyuk could easily say that and sound so confident.

There was an exciting beat played, disturbing their chattering and Donghyuk close his eyes, enjoying the rhythm. As if it dawned upon him, Donghyuk moved his body, so smooth, fluid, fascinating, turned the song alive.

 

Hanbin watched him in a mix of envy and admiration. Donghyuk curled a smile when he caught him staring. “What do you think?”

 

“Well, ugh. Nice I guess? Need to work on the hand gesture because the lyric of this part is showing emotional breakdown, so like, hitting the chest would be a better fig..ure.” Hanbin trailed off, realizing how quick and detailed his review was.

 

Donghyuk grinned. “See? You’re indeed the best.”

 

Hanbin tossed his hat to the younger, "Says the one who choreographed almost the whole song already on the first try."

 

"The song is easy to dance to!" He shrugged at the compliment.

 

Hanbin chuckled, "Whatever you say, Dancing King."

 

Donghyuk turned into a ripe tomato, fiddling with his rings, "Don't call me that. It's too much!"

 

Hanbin walked toward him, "What? It's the truth anyway."

 

In a playful manner, Donghyuk pushed Hanbin away, he gave him a glare, which the other just shrugged off saying, "uuuu~ scary puppy."

 

"Stop that."

 

Hanbin stared, "What? I am doing nothing!"

 

Donghyuk laughed, "Yeah, like your choreography." He teased.

 

Hanbin raised his eyebrow, "Woah the Dancing King is having some guts. What do I do?" He asked hint of playfulness and seriousness evident in his voice.

 

"Do me one thing, please" Donghyuk said in a pleasing manner, but his face turned slightly serious.

 

Hanbin blurted out, "What? You're going to ask me to dance with you or some sort?"

 

To his surprise, Donghyuk's face softened, "Yes, a romantic waltz, please. But can I ask for another thing?" Pink tints evident in his face.

 

"S-Sure? What is it?" Hanbin asked, flustered as he was slowly being pulled into Donghyuk's embrace.

 

“First, let’s just dance.” Donghyuk took Hanbin’s hand, intertwined them before he swiftly moved closer, his face was literally inches away from the leader. One of his hand looping around Hanbin’s waist and the latter was visibly flustered. Hanbin placed his hand on Donghyuk’s forearm, perhaps that was the only thing he felt right to do.

 

“I-I don’t know much about this, Donghyukkie..” Quivered voice breaking the serenity but Donghyuk leaned forward, eyes lined up with Hanbin’s.

 

“I know much, so just follow me.”  That words worked like magic, as the elder’s body moved so naturally, so seamless following Donghyuk’s gestures. Their shoulders moving slowly, made a parallel way with the floor.

 

Hanbin tore his reddened face from as the younger spinning them around, his foot leading the dance. His heart thumping loudly it covered the music playing behind them.

 

“So what, ugh.. thing you wanted to ask?” Hanbin tried to calm his chaotic mind as he unconsciously kept on looking at his foot, worried he would step on the latter.

 

“Can I... be the one?”

 

Hanbin raised his head abruptly. He met Donghyuk’s gaze, face unreadable. “What-what do you mean?”

 

Donghyuk still holding him, moving around the places with the clumsy waltz dance, but his eyes wouldn’t leave Hanbin, firmly looking at him.

 

“Can I be the one doing this with you? Making choreography, dancing... “ Donghyuk’s words got lower. “Comforting..” A short pause, Hanbin gritted his teeth in anticipation “... _you_..” The younger’s eyes bore right through him, so his soul. The crease on his forehead showing how serious he was with his words. Hanbin’s lungs suddenly lost the air inside.

They halted the dance. Hanbin’s eyes widened upon the request, didn’t blink, didn’t respond. Donghyuk started to regret his life choice until a cracked voice came to the scene “..why?”

 

Out of every possibility Donghyuk had thought, he didn’t expect the leader to answer with an enigma. He had picturing rejection as the worst case or acceptance as the nicest scenario. But a question was slipped from his mind.

 

“Why me?” Hanbin should be sounding confusing instead of sad. Donghyuk saw how clear the pain morphed to his face and it drove him to a panic state.

 

“Why can’t it be you?” He replied, worried if he overstepped the unseen boundary that suddenly built between them. Donghyuk was anything but reckless, and today’s event was clearly planned out. Helping Hanbin with choreography he knew the leader had been struggling with and confessed. He had gathered the courage for years, for 5 _fucking_ years and now he just lost it all. What if he misinterpreted Hanbin’s signals all this time? What if Hanbin also acted this clingy toward other members? What if he was the only one overthinking about how Hanbin looked at him? What if-

 

“Are you doing that out of pity?” Tone offended, Hanbin responded.

 

Donghyuk confusingly chuckled, "What? Why do you think I am doing this out of pity?" He asked, voice lacing with perplexity and nervousness.

 

Hanbin's face painted with fierceness, "Well I don't know. You tell me! Why would you want to comfort me? Do I look like I need it?"

 

"That's not it..."

 

Hanbin blurted out, "So why? Do you think I'm weak? Vulnerable?!" Hanbin angrily scoffed.

 

Donghyuk was getting frustrated and his heart severely breaking, "How can you translated it that way?" Donghyuk was more than offended, Hanbin's words stung and he didn't know how to take that. " Well, I guess, I am sorry then." There was a heat making its way to Donghyuk's eyes and it pushed the tears to slowly leaking from Donghyuk's eyes. "I am sorry that whenever I see your free hand I want to hold them and squeeze them with mine, I am sorry that I always want to hug you when you show your back, _God,_ I am sorry to fucking sorry for falling in love with you."

 

"What...?"

 

Donghyuk wiped his tears, upset at his mind screaming how pathetic this confession turned out. He didn't prepare himself for this. "I am so sorry for confessing, I am sorry I made you feel like you are weak. You are nothing like that." Donghyuk took a moment to breathe, "God. I- let's just forget that I said those words."

 

Domghyuk walked towards the computer and transferred the song on his phone. "I'll finish the choreography at home. Sorry for disturbing you, for saying... _things_." He started to walk towards the door.

 

To say that Hanbin was shocked was understandable. The fact that the man he adored, the one he wanted to stay together with, the one he continuously taking a glance of, the one he cherished the most, was sharing the mutual feelings, messed up with his mind and arose a strange feeling on his heart. But the other side of him stimulated the insecurities, doubled, tripled it, keeping him in denial, that it was impossible for someone to love him, as a man, as a Kim Hanbin, who he viewed lacking in many aspects.

 

But before his brain could decide what action should he take, his hand already moved forward, reaching for Donghyuk’s wrist. “Wait..”

 

The younger male halted but stayed still. His back facing Hanbin, shoulders tensed.

 

“I’m sorry.. please stay... I’m sorry..” Desperation lingered on Hanbin’s voice, his grip tightening but Donghyuk did nothing. Hanbin didn’t know why he held him strong, but he knew the moment he let go of Donghyuk, he would lose him forever.

 

“I don’t... I don’t know okay.. love.. it feels unreal. So I’m... I don’t know.. I’m sorry... I’m sorry..” Hanbin sounded like a broken radio, repeating the apology and scrambled words he couldn’t put to a proper sentence. He took a step forward, resting his head on Donghyuk's back. The latter flinched and wanting to calm him down, wanting to wipe the tears that dampen his shirt for a reason he was yet to figure out, but in the end, he stayed facing the door.

 

“Those words... I can’t accept those..” Donghyuk scrunched his face, palm shifted to a fist. “I don’t think I deserve to be loved..” Low tone, angst-laced on his voice and Donghyuk couldn’t help it anymore.

 

“Hyung..” Donghyuk finally chose to look at him, turned his whole body around, there still traces of resentment left on his countenance.

 

“Hyung look at me..” Donghyuk cupped Hanbin’s face.

 

Hanbin was still hiding his face, not giving up to the younger's request. Donghyuk rubbed his arms, "Hyung? Hmmmm... look at me, please?" He got a slight change in Hanbin's posture but his face was still plummeted down.

 

"If you want me to stay please look at me." Donghyuk pleaded.

 

There was hesitation to Hanbin's movements but he looked at the younger, eyes quivering, glazed with tears.

 

"Hey, it's okay. I am not leaving. I am not going to leave you until you say so."

 

Hanbin inhaled, "I am... unworth-" Donghyuk abruptly placed his index finger on Hanbin's mouth, "I know what you are going to say and you are wrong."

 

Donghyuk gently slid his finger across Hanbin's lips, "You can't say that because it isn't true. You are much more, much more of how you think you are."  Donghyuk's fingers wandered to Hanbin's face, "I don't know why you think you don't deserve love when in fact you are the most worthy."

 

Hanbin closed his eyes, taking in the warmth from Donghyuk's fingers, "N-no," he complained, too feeble, much vulnerable. He could feel the distance between them decreasing. A whirlwind of excitement, nervousness, pain, and anxiety enveloped him.

 

Hanbin thinks he doesn't deserve it - any of it, but Donghyuk says otherwise.

 

Donghyuk's thumb caressed Hanbin's lips, a question perhaps and it made Hanbin open his eyes. "Hyung" Donghyuk breathed as he lessened the gap between them. "I'm about to do something bad to prove you're wrong, please stop me.."  and he leaned forward. Hanbin couldn't understand why he closed his eyes, but he did it anyway. "I want to love you. Please let me love you." Donghyuk begged as he sealed the distance between them alongside the broken hearts they both had. Warm and soft lips touched, galaxies crowding between them as a receipt of their happiness.  Hanbin didn't think of it as something bad.

 

Hanbin thought he was in a dream, beautiful intoxicating one where everything felt too vivid and everything felt too real. His head spun, knees went weak upon the tingling new sensation lingered on his lips. He was too immersed to the kiss, enjoying Donghyuk nibbling his bottom lip softly, when he slowly losing the control upon himself, hands moving by their own, gripped the younger’s hips and pulled him even closer.

 

Hanbin let out a small groan when Donghyuk’s lips trailed to his cheek, making its way to his jaw, then to the tip of his nose, peppering small kisses all along. He didn’t realize his eyes were wet when Donghyuk gave a kiss to each one. His sadness and worries melted, eroded and left him all clean and raw. Then the bliss said it was the time to come in, filling every vein he had with satisfaction and affection.

 

Hanbin felt loved. Needed. Treasured.

 

He opened his eyes unhurriedly, staring at Donghyuk who was looking back at him wearing the most beautiful smile. Something stirred inside his guts and his heart swollen.

 

“Thank you..” Among all the things the wanted to say, all the confusion and insecurities he wanted to address, all the uncertainty smothered around them, he didn’t know why the gratitude was the one escaped.

 

Donghyuk sneered, pulling Hanbin to another hug. It wrapped all the unsaid thoughts.

 

"Seems like the choreography had to wait a bit longer." Hanbin jabbed him sheepishly at that.


	3. Dongbin- Our Unsaid Thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin couldn't stop thinking about Donghyuk's rejection in Bestfriend stage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I reupload this from my own fic because its more like a drabble so yey recycling!

iKON walked inside their dorm, beaten and totally exhausted. Understandable since they did 4 hours long of the concert today. All those singing, jumping, and heavy dancing wringing out their energy, left only the desire to rest. While most of them straightly went to their room, Hanbin instead threw his body on the couch. He had the urge to take a bath but his body already found comfort in where he laid down.

Today was such a long day.

Hanbin sighed, mind trailed off. Sure he was happy, meeting the fans and delivered the best performance once again. Endless encore stage, also birthday celebration of Donghyuk and Chanwoo gave him more than enough reason to feel happy. He chuckled remembering Bobby finally made a major move toward Junhoe today, holding his hand in public shamelessly after months of awkward attempts to get close. He definitely had to praise his hyung tomorrow. Overall, Hanbin knew the satisfaction got the biggest out of him. But still, one little thing disturbed his peace state of mind.

He was alone again.

During the bestfriend stage, Hanbin really wished they would end the continue tour with him having a partner. Not that he wanted his member to be alone, he just had enough of being the only one left friendless. Hanbin laughed in mockery to himself, considering how pathetic he could be. It was a small matter, he should have forgotten it the moment they stepped down the stage.

But he didn’t. He couldn’t.

It was still fresh in his mind how he desperately waiting for a particular person to pick him, choose him as a partner, but that person turned him down at the end. The laugh he heard coming from the one he longing for after tricked him still echoing in his mind, hurting his pride for an unexplainable reason.

Did Donghyuk enjoy playing with his heart? Did that guy fail to see how evident the pain on Hanbin’s face after Donghyuk complimented him only to choose Chanwoo later? Or was it Hanbin’s fault for not being vocal enough about him wanting Donghyuk as his partner?

Hanbin didn’t know how could the smallest act of Donghyuk able to affect him so much, messed up with his rationality and bothering him to the core of his entire being. Perhaps it because the younger teased him before and even doing skinship with him that Hanbin mistook it as a sign of flirting. But who was he kidding? Donghyuk was simply flirty, to begin with. It was foolish of him to overlook their moment and even more foolish to think Donghyuk had a mutual feeling with him.

Wait, what mutual feeling? Hanbin scoffed. What feeling he actually had for that man? Was it desperation? Longing for a friend? Was it similar to when you lost your precious items? Which one of them was his feeling?

Dumb Hanbin was occupied with his tangled thoughts, didn’t realize someone was staring at him six feet away. Donghyuk grinned in amusement looking at Hanbin scrunching his face, then slapped his own cheek, suddenly pouting, brows furrowed, and was visibly uneasy.

He wondered what was going on in their leader’s brain. Probably he worried about the ISAC tomorrow. Since iKON and athletic shouldn’t be put in the same sentence, they were most likely going to embarrass themselves in that event. That one memory of Junhoe doing archery and the arrow flopped back to himself suddenly flashed on his mind and Donghyuk couldn’t help but giggle.

Donghyuk emboldened himself to move closer.

“Hyung, have you take a bath?” Donghyuk noticed the leader was one of a member that skipped showering in their concert place. The other was surely Junhoe, but that man gave zero fuck saying his sweat smell amazing. Donghyuk asked in a low, calm tone, but Hanbin flinched exaggeratedly.

“Huh? No, but I’m planning to.” Hanbin changed his position to sit. When his eyes greeted Donghyuk’s tired one, he quickly tore his attention away.

“Why are you not sleeping yet? It passed 11.” Hanbin scratched his head, eyes on the hanging clock on the wall.

“Ah, I can’t sleep. Wanna drink some tea.” Donghyuk replied.

“Oh yeah? Okay. I’m, ugh,” Hanbin’s brain cut a circuit, unable to think what to say, hands were making a gesture to explain but nothing really came out. “Take a bath. I’m gonna take a bath then.” He cleared his throat and detached his ass from the couch.

“Okay.” Donghyuk continued walking to the kitchen.

Donghyuk was enjoying his warm tea while watching some uninteresting tv show he hoped could bore him out to sleep. He was peacefully sipping his drink in the couch Hanbin laid before when he heard footsteps coming from behind.

“Oh hyung, you done-” Donghyuk almost spurted out his tea when he saw Hanbin walked with only his underwear covering his lower part. He coughed and Hanbin rushed to him to check.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Hanbin tapped his back lightly. Donghyuk’s eyes widened in disbelief when Hanbin was literally inches away from him, hair damped and body exposed. He turned his head away, face flushed red.

“Don’t go around naked like that.” Donghyuk’s voice raised a bit. He reached out for his tea, wishing it would calm him down.

“Ah, sorry. I forget to bring a towel.” Hanbin awkwardly said. He quickly went to his room and grabbed some pair of clothes, left the ashamed Donghyuk behind.

Hanbin had no idea why his legs brought him back to the living room. He had no idea where the bravery to ask Donghyuk to move a bit so he could sit beside him came from. He blamed his dysfunctional brain for recklessly opened his mouth too on top of it.

“You had fun?”

Donghyuk turned his head upon the question, “You mean watching this? Not really,” He sipped the tea and shuddered in cold.

“Ah no, that wasn’t. Ugh, wait a minute.” Hanbin stopped himself and left the perplexed Donghyuk behind, disappeared to his room. He showed himself again less than a minute, this time with a blanket on his hand.

“Ugh, you seemed cold. I mean the air, it cold so I, ugh,” damn it, when will Hanbin quit stuttering?

Donghyuk smiled knowingly, grasped the kindness behind his action. He patted the couch asking for Hanbin to sit.

“You’re so thoughtful. Thank you.” Donghyuk reached out for the blanket and wrapping himself. What caught Hanbin off guard was when the younger smothered the fabric around his shoulder too.

“Ah no, I’m not cold.” Hanbin tried to reject him but Donghyuk already snuggled closer. He touched Hanbin’s cheek and smiled endearingly. “You’re freezing too. It’s okay, we can share.” Donghyuk moved closer and their thighs met.

Perhaps Hanbin’s heart skipped a beat.

“You’re okay like this, hyung?” Donghyuk suddenly lifted his head and his face where so close with the leader Hanbin could see his pores.

Maybe not a beat. Maybe the organ within his chest just skipped a lot, a lot of beats.

“Hmmm, as long as you’re feeling comfortable I’m okay.” Hanbin blinked fast to avoid Donghyuk’s stare. The other male hummed and shifted his attention to the screen in front of them.

While Donghyuk was occupied with whatever show playing on the TV, Hanbin couldn’t help but taking continuous glance upon him, overthinking about the guy. How Donghyuk practically sat so close with him, how that man looking at the screen with his lids half closed and his bottom lips being pursued forward, how he sighed in defeat every few seconds, how his locks seemed so shiny and soft Hanbin wanted to run his hand over it, how Hanbin’s heart thumped so loud every time he budged a little, these all drove Hanbin to the edge.

Hanbin wanted to talk. This moment was rare for him, alone with Donghyuk with no one around. But Hanbin didn’t know where to start, he kept on clearing his throat but every word he had died before reaching the tip of his tongue. And perhaps, Donghyuk didn’t want to talk to him. Donghyuk was a bright, easy going person, meanwhile Hanbin was clumsy, if not, boring.

So he eventually bit his tongue, killed his own desire to open a conversation, burying all the unsaid things deep in his brain.

“-ung, hyung, hyung!” Hanbin snapped out from his reverie. Donghyuk stared at him in concern.

“You don’t have to accompany me. Go ahead and sleep.” Donghyuk’s eyes filled with worries and Hanbin felt a pang sent to his heart.

He knew it was Donghyuk’s nature, taking care of people and showering them with love and attention, but a little part of his brain had long stayed in denial saying Donghyuk only did it for him. He overlooked the memories of Donghyuk spent sleepless night fixing the choreography with him, buying him food and reminding him to take a rest. He romanticizing the memory of a couple of times where he fell asleep on Donghyuk’s lap after overdid himself in practice. How the man would wake him up carefully, greeted him with a genuine smile, Hanbin couldn't chase them away from his recollection.

Hanbin thought Donghyuk would only do it to him. But later he knew he was wrong. Donghyuk rejected him as his partner when he was desperately showing he wanted one, and it wasn’t the first time. Donghyuk flirted with him but he also flirted with everyone. Hanbin always put a blind eye when Donghyuk was clearly fooling around with others.

The need of him wanting Donghyuk’s affection to strictly be given to him had grown unhealthy these past few days. Donghyuk treated everyone the same. And ever since these realizations dawned upon him, Hanbin never felt special again. Who was he kidding? He had never been one.

“You dazed out again.” Donghyuk poking Hanbin’s cheek, giggling while doing it.  
Hanbin wanted him to stop.

“Midnight thoughts, I’m sorry.”

“You seemed to have a lot on your plate. You know you could share it.” Donghyuk tilted his head to his side and curled another reassuring smile.

Hanbin badly wanted him to stop.

But his determination lost against his heart and Hanbin abruptly nuzzled his head to Donghyuk’s nape.

“H-hyung?”

“I’m tired. Let me stay like this for 10 seconds.” Hanbin tried so hard not to show his emotion on his voice. Through his action, he never stopped taking care of Donghyuk. When Donghyuk was sick Hanbin quickly called a doctor without saying much. When Donghyuk did extreme diet Hanbin would come to his room and put food on his table. When Donghyuk said he wished to have a day off Hanbin would beg to YG to give them a vacation. He did everything he could, but perhaps it never enough.

The latter hummed in understatement. He let Hanbin did whatever he wanted. He was still waiting for him to open up, though it probably would never happen.

Donghyuk had come to the conclusion that Hanbin didn't like him. The elder wouldn't talk to him unless it was about dancing, dancing, and dancing. Hanbin never asked him what he had for dinner or what Donghyuk's favorite film. Donghyuk hated how the other member could easily hold a conversation with Hanbin but he always flunked to do it. Not to mention Hanbin showed hostility when he flirted with him openly. No matter how obvious he was about his love, Hanbin had always been oblivious about it. Or worse, he probably pretended not to see it. Donghyuk had enough of the trials and disapproval signals.

Donghyuk wanted to stop.

But the way his heart beating loudly when Hanbin’s cold skin touched his own, he knew it would be a long journey before he could put an end of his unrequited love.

Two young souls, drown in their worlds, left only the cold wind watching them struggling with their unsaid thoughts.

Maybe they would sort it out tomorrow, eventually talking about how they felt toward one another and actually make a progress.

Or maybe they would forever be trapped in their beliefs, viewing themselves unworthy for the other party, sinking in stupid pain, putting an end to something that never actually started.


	4. Yunbin- Slow Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin is scared of many things. The way Yunhyeong quickens the pace of their relationship is becoming one of the reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For dela aka @ynubin aka Yunbin enthusiast.

 

 ****If Hanbin is allowed, to be honest, he’s actually scared of many things. As a leader, he’s scared of not being able to carry things the way people expected him to. As an iKON member, the thoughts of not being able to keep up with his mates haunting him every damn night. As a person, he’s anxious about losing the battle against the daily struggles.

And as a lover, Yunhyeong’s spouse to be exact, his biggest fear is how their relationship is moving too fast.

There’s Yunhyeong above him, dim light illuminating his perfect profile as his eyes filled with love with a hint of lust. The couch on Hanbin’s studio certainly isn’t big enough to hold them both, but somehow their figures just fit in. Hanbin doesn’t even know how that occurred.

Yunhyeong lowers his body and Hanbin feels his heart drops to his stomach. A peculiar sensation hitting his skin, infiltrating his pores and sends a shiver to his bones when hot breathe blown to his face.

It scares him.

It’s not about Yunhyeong. Heck Hanbin would pay thousand dollars to have this impeccable guy staring at him that way.

It’s not how Yunhyeong runs his finger down his sweaty temple to his cheek and resting it on his lips.

Really, it isn’t the loud thump of Yunhyeong’s heart that makes Hanbin uneasy.

They’re barely hitting 3 months. For someone who never really being in a relationship, Hanbin wants things to be at a slow pace, in a way he’s comfortable with. Maybe normal dates in the first few months, holding hands, flustered cheeks, and some hugs are more than enough. He expected Yunhyeong to be the same.

Unless that all Yunhyeong does is giving him surprises, ruining his plan and messing up with his pace.

“Hey.” A low voice breaks through Hanbin’s reverie.

“You’re trembling,” Yunhyeong speaks again. It takes a few seconds for Hanbin to decipher his words before he takes a full view of himself. Since when did his hands touch Yunhyeong’s chest, shaking to the fingertips?

“Ahh... I’m-”

Yunhyeong arches a brow, giving Hanbin a silent question he doesn’t want to answer. Pathetic.

“You’re okay?” Yunhyeong slightly pulls away. His thumb caresses Hanbin’s cheek and the leader flinches.

“No, I mean yes, yes.. why wouldn’t I?” Hanbin lets out a nervous laugh.

The smile doesn’t reach his eyes and Yunhyeong picks it up.

“Are you afraid?”

‘Haha, hyung what are you talking about? I’m not.”

“Oh, really?” Yunhyeong closes the gap between them slowly and Hanbin could feel his ribcage is about to burst. He can’t afford to tell Yunhyeong that.

Yunhyeong takes Hanbin’s hand, kissing the palm. Blood rushing to Hanbin’s face. “What.. what are you..?”

Yunhyeong smiles. There are various meanings behind the curved lips. “Just making sure my touch isn’t scaring you away.”

Hanbin gulps. Yunhyeong intertwines their hands together, locking his eyes with Hanbin. It catches him off guard when Yunhyeong’s soft lips land on his jaw.

The strange sensation is back and Hanbin doesn’t know if he hates it or wants it. Yunhyeong kisses him. It’s the same kiss he gave to Hanbin when he confessed to the leader three months ago. But it slowly turning hotter and more passionate as Yunhyeong’s tongue comes to the scene, playing quite a role. Yunhyeong's hand travels down his inner thighs.

Hanbin is scared again. He hits Yunhyeong’s chest lightly multiple times.

“I can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry...”

Silence takes its time to suffocate them both. Hanbin wishes the ground would cracking up and swallows his whole existence for the stupid rejection he just did. He can’t even raise his head to meet Yunhyeong’s unreadable gaze.

“I made you scare, wasn’t I?” It sounds painful, making Hanbin freezes on the spot. Yunhyeong gets up and suddenly another fear blasting upon Hanbin.

He grabs Yunhyeong’s wrist.

“No. No. It wasn’t you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, hyung.”

“Let’s call it a night, shall we?” Yunhyeong curls a smile and pecks on the top of his head.

“No!” Hanbin yells, startling Yunhyeong.

“Please stay, stay for a while.” Hanbin is still visibly shaking, but his grip on Yunhyeong wouldn’t get loose any soon.

“Okay.”

Minutes passed and Hanbin’s breaths getting more stable. Yunhyeong sits beside him without a word. Hanbin is thankful for that.  


"Don't you think, we need to take things slowly?" Hanbin's small voice breaking the silence. There's no answer given for a solid five seconds.

"Why?" an unexpected question is what he gets. Hanbin raises his face and looks at Yunhyeong.

"What do you mean why? We're moving too fast, can't you see? We're new in this relationship and you already want to...want to..." Hanbin pauses his sentence, abashed to the core when Yunhyeong smirks at his reply.

"Want to what? What did you think I wanted to do before?"

"Stop playing dumb. You were about to ...make out with me," Hanbin covers his face with his hand, voice died at the last phrase he was saying. Yunhyeong's heart being squeezed at the sight of shy Hanbin. Seriously, this is why Yunhyeong couldn't hold himself.

"Oh, was I?" Yunhyeong moves closer, his face is inches away from Hanbin. Hanbin mumbles something like  _stay away from me you big pervy_ and it only makes Yunhyeong draws nigh. 

"Did it scare you?" 

Hanbin doesn't immediately answer. But he sighs. "I don't know... I guess so."

"Hanbin, look at me." Yunhyeong cups his chin, and there's an adorable, frightened expression jumbled up with red colors all over Hanbin's face.

 

_You asked about why things develop so quick between us not knowing you're the sole reason behind._

 

 _"_ I'm sorry. I'll slow down. Would that be it?"

Hanbin darts his eyes away, avoiding Yunhyeong's stare. "Maybe... I don't know.. Just... just give me more time. We being in a relationship isn't fully registered yet."

"Take all your time. I'm sorry to force my way to you." Yunhyeong kisses his cheek. The words and the action melting away something big inside him, something unknown, something he named as fear. He looks up at Yunhyeong. Yunhyeong's gaze is sincere and affectionate it makes the guilt for pushing him away before creeping up to Hanbin's body.

"But, but we can do this much." Hanbin grabs Yunhyeong's collar, evidently shaking as he's crashing their lips. Yunhyeong is yet to digest what was happening when Hanbin nibbles his lips and speaks right to it. "I- I think I can kiss you like this once in a while."

Yunhyeong feels like his cheeks are burning hot.

 _You asked to slow down things_ _but you're here_ _te sting  every bit of my patience. You're horrible._

Yunhyeong sighs. Well, he only needs to endure this and follow Hanbin's pace for a little more, right? They still have plenty of times to try many things together. And honestly, Yunhyeong doesn't mind this cute, flustered version of Hanbin. Something only and would only be seen by him. 

 

 


End file.
